As Non-duality (Advaita) is becoming more and more popular in the West, many Gurus are having a field day. In order to either catch more clientele or to make things simpler for the disciples, several new definitions and compromises in the teaching of the Non-dual message got introduced. New fads also have become common to prove oneself to be more Non-dual than the next fellow-disciple. Greg Goode who is not unknown to our readers, happened to compile some of those novel and hilarious hijinks. Here are a few of those terms (adopted from Sarlo's Guru Rating Service):
LUCKNOW DISEASE - Linguistic malady befalling seekers at Papaji's. Characterized by never using the word "I" - to encourage one's self and also show others that there is no one at home here. Instead, they would say stuff like "This form is going to the rest room."
ADVAITA SHUFFLE - Conversational gambit. What Andrew Cohen accused Gangaji of doing when she didn't want to talk about ethics and enlightenment. Jumping to the absolute level at odd times. Like when the receptionist asks why you were late for your doctor's appointment. "There's no one here to go anywhere or be late for anything."
LANDING - Losing one's enlightenment. What Gangaji accused Andrew Cohen of having done. Term used by those who think of enlightenment as a kind of thing that can be lost. Something like claiming enlightenment and then getting peevish and petty over who pays the tip at the diner.
NONDUAL POLICE - Those who badger others to use nondual terminology. Whenever they hear someone saying something like "I'm going out for coffee," they barge in: "WHO is going out for coffee??" Nondual police want everyone to always be in constant Ramana-self-inquiry-mode.
THE EYE THING - Keeping eye contact with the other person as long as possible. Whoever drops their gaze first is not as established in the Beloved. Some blinking is OK, but not too much. The deeper into the Self you are, the longer you can hold it. Used by many satsang teachers. One of my friends can out-stare anyone. He kinds of drops into a Candida-mind-fog, and hours can go by.
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Here's one of the more obvious "beyond-shtick" shticks I've heard of -- a guru telling their followers to read THE GURU PAPERS. This story was told to me by a person who has known this particular guru for about 20 years. My contact knew this person a long time before the latter launched into guru-dom. Right now the guru has sort of a beyond-it-all, angelic, evanescent appearance, with lightly draping silk and cotton "consciousness clothing" in cloudy pastel colors. Before gurudom, there were other forays into the spiritual world, including psychology and psychotherapy, attempts to find investors to set up a new-age educational system (which never got off the ground), then therapy leadership and Buddhist meditation. When first launching out into the world of giving satsang, this teacher would talk about shtick and the bad things that could become of it. As if initiating the students into the secrets of "beyond," and as if showing there was no such nonsense going on *here*, they would recommend the students to read THE GURU PAPERS...
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Another thing to look for is the self-serving relationship between the criteria-giver and the criteria. The person in the chair at the front of the room -- check to see if their recommendations serve to direct you right back to them! One teacher I won't name does this in satsang:
Question from seeker: "What should I look for in a teacher?"
Answer: "The most important thing to look for is ... "
... ... ... (a minute or 2 go by)...
"a silent mind ... "
Yeah, right!!!!!
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A recent "find" we like to add to the above listing is a new terminology introduced into Advaita in order to make things easy for Western disciples (as claimed by one such disciple). It is "The Non-dual Infinite Realization of my finite little 'self.' Oh, yes, it actually has been christened with a Sanskrit combined with English name. It is called Self-Realization with pratibandhaka-s -- as though one can attain a conditioned salvation! (It is something like saying "You are granted US citizenship with no permission to enter the country." 😏)
